There are many of the feminist and modern bent who will say the following post is just about everything wrong with… well… male and female relationships… and I don’t care.
Boundaries. No means no. And it does.
But… sometimes I like to be convinced.
I always tell men that I will tell you to stop when I want you to stop. At the same time, I hate being asked if something is ok. If I don’t want you to do something, I will happily move your hand. You can try to put it back at a later moment, well then that might be ok. When I push you off, and tell you no, that is no.
There is this culture emerging that women should just get on with it. Embrace your sexuality and get on him… get on with it. Getter done.
Why? Once upon a time, men had to convince a woman he was worthy of taking her… spilling himself inside her… fathering her children.
This is not to say that I won’t get on top of you and take you when I am in the mood… That isn’t what this is about.
My point is… I want to feel you be a man. I want to feel your power. I want to know that you are feeling that hot, animalistic mating drive. I want to feel the animal you.
Hating to paraphrase Robin Thicke, but the song.. well.. sometimes it is true. Sometimes you do know I want it. I might not be entirely willing to have it right away, And I might not want to have it at all… but if you don’t make the attempt, and a good one, why should I want it with you?
No. I am not just going to flop on my back just because you want me to… (Unless you are my one, true Daddy and you order me to!) What am I? A watermelon with a conveniently placed hole? I don’t believe that is embracing your sexuality. I think that is being convenient.
Respect me enough to seduce me. Desire me enough to push. Honour me enough to stop when I say.
To be perfectly honest, I am not hard to seduce if you try. You just have to make the attempt. Most men where I live just can’t be bothered. Their attitude is ‘wanna fuck’? Well… where is the fun in that? Its like the difference between eating at McDonalds and fine dining. Just as food should be enjoyed and savoured, so should the entire game of love.
Once, I was seduced simply by a conversation. He came up to me from behind. I was standing at a balcony. He said the most banal things- I believe we were discussing WWII history at the time… with his lips at 4 o’clock on my neck- my own, personal kryptonite. His lips. Brushing against my skin. His nose against my ear. I was his before his hands slid up to cup my breasts.
But then he made me work for it. He worked my breasts like clay before sliding his fingers down… down… how smoothly his hands were inside my skirt and my panties… I just remember that all of a sudden, his fingers were THERE… and when I tried to turn and face him… He held me.. and tormented me… until my body shook. I was so wet and weak… and it felt like those fingers buried deep inside my pussy were the only things holding me up.
I could not have resisted him… even if I wanted to…
And then he did the cruelest thing…
When you are so on fire you are vibrating… your knees are weak, your bones are jelly… you can’t stand… you can’t think…
He made me stand there as he fell to his knees…
Made me stand there while his fisted me.