The first time I encountered the whole fetish world, I was about 14, and my 19 year old sister had a ‘Leather and Lace’ lingerie party. The parents were away and my sister wanted to do something *thrilling*.
This would have been the early 90s… right as the whole S&M thing was just coming into vogue. I remember thinking… well… hmm… this says something to me… even if it is just naff PVC bodysuits with nickel studs along the edges. It got me thinking…
I read the horrible Anne Rice ‘Beauty’ books when I was about 17. While they had all the charm of a thug on death row, they inspired me to get right to the source… de Sade. Anyone who says they really are into S&M and who hasn’t read de Sade needs a serious slap. Reading BDSM 101 DOES NOT COUNT! Neither does 50 Shades of Grey. Seriously… just get out of my face. You can say you are turned on by kink… or call yourself kinky… but if all you have read is some 90s or later ‘spice up your bedroom’ self help book, you just aren’t the real deal.
I have actually played on both sides of the handcuffs. I spent several years being a ‘Domme’. (I absolutely hate that word. Most people who use it have NO idea what it really means.) Truly dominant people are. Generally, they don’t play in the scene. They don’t need to. They know who and what they are, and they can make you do exactly what they want. That is what being dominant is. It isn’t tossing on your leather chaps, grabbing the flogger you bought at the sex shop (in fancy purple suede with silver studs on the butt) and slapping some little nymphette around. I would say that most people who call themselves dominant in the scene are just wearing a mask.
I come from a family of truly dominant people. Some of them use their powers for good, some not so much, but in the real world, they know how to make you do what they want. They derive a great deal of pleasure in it. You might not even know they are slowly bending you to their will, because they are just that good at it… Dominant… yes… dysfunctional… YES! Occasionally psychotic? HELL YES!!!
So where has this all taken me?
I realized that I was not attracted to submissive men. To me, that isn’t what a man is. Now… doesn’t mean he has to be some macho, cock-slapping, son of a bitch. If he is compensating that much, he isn’t what he thinks he is… What I am looking for is a man who is worthy of my submission… who makes me want to give myself to him, and into his power.
Again… it is why I say I am the ultimate pet… like a lion or a hawk… It is there for you, it loves you… on its terms. If you mistreat it, you wont have it for long.. and you might be missing a few fingers. You entrance it… and it is loyal and true… Mesmerize it, and it will follow you anywhere….
Oh… and if you are just the littlest bit kinky… that would be fantastic….